Love Is The Foundation
Posted on June 17, 2008
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Every parent would unanimously agree that love is the foundation of child rearing. A child’s well being is dependent on the love relationship between him and his parent. According to co-authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell of “The Five Love Languages of Children”, unless you speak the love language that communicates to your child of your love, he will not feel loved.
What are the five love languages? Each child (as well as adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five different communication styles:
• Physical Touch
• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Gifts
• Acts of Service
It’s important to discover which one of the primary love language your child speaks because by “speaking” it, you can fill his “emotional tank” with love. When he feels loved, he would be much easier to discipline and train. If you have more than one child in the family, you will come to understand each may speak and hear a different love language.
Folding A T-shirt The Japanese Way
Posted on June 16, 2008
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If you are one of those who appreciate tips on how to accomplish household chores in a jiffy, here are two videos on how to fold a t-shirt – the original version (in Japanese) and an English version. If you prefer a shorter cut to manging your laundry, you could try my friend, Nancy’s way: she hangs out all her family’s clothing in size-appropriate hangers on the clothesline and once dried, she takes them straight to the wardrobes. These clothings are naturally the ones which are wrinkle free.
Anyway, enjoy the videos; I have tried it and it’s really as easy as it looks.
Developing Your Child’s Resiliency
Posted on June 13, 2008
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Consider that an average person spends about 20 years in a formal education setting , it would be interesting to learn how one copes better than the other. What makes one child more resilient than the other?
According to a longterm research, children who are more securely attached with their carers are more able to adapt to changing life circumstances, such as school life, than those who have less secure attachment relationships. Further details about the Minnesota Longitudinal Project, which followed children and their carers from infancy to adulthood, can be found in “The Fate of Early Experience Following Development Change” by Sroufe L A, Egeland B, Kreutzer, T 1990.
Taking the lead in preventing child sexual abuse
Posted on June 9, 2008
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The gravity of child sexual abuse issue in recent years warrants concerted effort as it cuts across racial, ethnic and socio-economic class. Keeping our children safe is the duty of all adults. Teaching children to be wary of strangers and not accept treats/rides from strangers are no longer sufficient. In most cases, the perpetrators are known to the victims.
In many countries, preventive education and appropriate counseling interventions have been successful in breaking the patterns of abuse. However, in order to teach prevention techniques effectively, we need to examine our social, cultural and religious attitudes about sex roles, family life, sexuality and violence.
Cot Deaths
Posted on June 2, 2008
Filed Under Infant Care | Leave a Comment
In the latest Lancet medical journal, researchers have found that two common bacteria, Staphylococcus and Escherichia coli, may have contributed to cot deaths in infants. A team from Great Ormond Street Hospital (UK) have found high levels of these bacteria in post-mortem tests on over 500 babies who died of unexplained reasons. They concluded that one explanation could be that the bacteria released deadly toxins which damaged the heart, lungs or nervous system. However, they were quick to point out that bacterial growth might also be a secondary effect of other risk factors like over-heating, parental smoking and lying the child on its stomach.
Sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI) is a leading cause of death in babies under a year old, yet its root cause remains a mystery. In the UK, 500 children a year die of SUDI and 90 per cent of these babies are aged under age 9 months.
Attachment Styles
Posted on May 28, 2008
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Mary Ainsworth developed John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory further in the 1970s. In pioneering “Strange Situation” study, researchers observed toddlers between the ages of 12 and 18 months as they responded to a situation in which they were briefly left alone and then reunited with their mothers.
Ainsworth categorized three major styles of attachment: secure, ambivalent and avoidant.
More on Attachment Theory
Posted on May 26, 2008
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While researching more about John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory, I found the following advice given by Dr Ann Corwin on simple ways to form attachment with your baby. Great tips for new parents; however it is still not too late if your child is above 6 years old or 66!
Attachment Theory For Parenting
Posted on May 23, 2008
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In the past decade since the birth of my daughter, I have read countless of books and attended courses on parenting and child development. The one that has led me to a new understanding of child development is last November’s certificate course on Play and Creative Arts conducted by Professor Monika Jephcott (CEO) of UK-based Academy of Play and Child Psychotherapy. Being a parent now takes on a whole new direction. Let me share with you the Attachment Theory by John Bowlby and later the role of neuroscience in parenting.
Through his research in the 1950s and 1960s, John Bowlby believed the first bonds formed by children with their mothers/primary caregivers would have a tremendous life-long impact. He said by keeping an infant close to the mother, it would improve the baby’s chances of survival. The central theme of attachment theory is that mothers who are available and responsive to their infant’s needs establish a sense of security. The infant knows that the caregiver is dependable, which creates a secure base for the child to then explore the world.
Another Beautiful Lesson
Posted on May 21, 2008
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Although my friend sent me two links to Yoo Ye Eun’s sterling and inspirational performance (one of which I posted in my previous post), I didn’t check out the second video until much later. I was pleasantly surprised with Ye Eun’s mother’s decision. Here, spare a few minutes and watch the gem of a lesson:
One Woman’s Loss is Another’s Gain
Posted on May 20, 2008
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When I was pregnant with my third child at 36, my obstetrician asked if I wanted an ammiocentesis. I firmly said no. But as soon as she said, “If your baby is Down, would you keep it?” I hesitated and stammered a “yes”. Why wasn’t my reply a spontaneous “no”? Could it be that I wasn’t really 100 per cent sure I would keep my baby? Or was I reacting to her referral of my baby as “it”?
I drove home after my visit in deep thought. I knew deep down, I would keep and raise my baby (and no, baby was not an “it”) regardless. Despite that conviction, I still had a wee fear and some anxiety about a possibility. Later that day, I shared my anxiety with my husband. Not only did he assure me of his commitment to his role as a parent, he reminded me to stay positive. I am fortunate to have partner like him. Perhaps the woman who gave birth to blind girl some years ago in South Korea wasn’t as lucky. Maybe her predicament was beyond her competence. She gave up. She gave her baby up at birth. Five years on, today, that little girl is the pride and joy of another woman. A courageous woman whose love is truly unconditional. To raise one own offspring who has special needs requires tenacity (and a host of other attributes) but to adopt and accept a child who has a disability, to me, is a notch up the parenthood scale (ha, as if there is one in existence – but I am sure you know what I mean). Dare I even suggest, it is another possible path that leads to sainthood?
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