When the war broke out in Iraq in first quarter of 2003, the pre-school my then 5-year old daughter attended revamped their whole year curriculum. Apart from the mandatory learning as set out by the Ministry of Education, the teachers put together a most meaningful project espousing peace.

Through newspaper cuttings of the children displaced and orphaned by war, songs of peace, activities and games involving co-operation and a beautiful public art exhibition themed Peace and Harmony, my daughter and her friends learnt some powerful lessons that would last a lifetime.

If more schools and teachers work together to promote such peaceful ways, there will be fewer conflicts around us.

But how can we, as parents, help support such great work? Perhaps the keyword lies in “inner peace”. I have found that inner peace can be achieved and taught to our children by teaching them to love themselves.

When we are kind to ourselves, we tend to be able to acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses better. This will lead to a certain contentment and happiness from within. Theoretically, there will be little envy or even jealousy and perhaps intense rivalry and the power to control over others may not have the chance to manifest.

For many of us, self love can be pretty challenging, what more trying to teach (through example) it to our children. Take heart, it isn’t that difficult. Just think, if we can love our children so unconditionally, that very same feeling can also be extended to ourselves.

Let me share with you a tragic story that convinced me of the importance of raising children who love themselves.

In 2002, a friend related to me how his 23-year old brother-in-law took his own life by inhaling exhaust fumes in his car. This young man was then living with his parents in a very affluent neighbourhood. No one knew why he chose to end his life but the family was certain it wasn’t about money (debts). They wondered if it could be unrequited love. I felt sad for the old couple who lost their only son but sadder that he didn’t love himself enough to brave through the storm.

To me, children who grow up with a healthy self esteem (which also means they love themselves and have a certain level of contentment and inner peace) will weather out whatever that comes their way – regardless of their IQ score.